(Collect the Whole Set!)



[Kelly Freas Wizard Poster]
Click for Big Pic

Own a Giant Page of Hollywood Movie Magic History!

Created by the World's Greatest Fantasy Illustrator!
Created for the World's Most Pirated Video!
Signed by the Star, Director, and Most of the Crew!
Personally Autographed to YOU!
Just in Time for the Holidays!

Curious? Intrigued??
Jumping Up and Down with Excitement?!?
Then Scroll Down NOW! (Or click on:)

A Brief History of the Kelly Freas Wizard Poster

Secret Map of the Wizard Poster Subliminals!

Get a Wizard Poster Personalized to YOU by a Hollywood Movie Star!

Have Your Personalized Wizard Poster SENT to You!

What? When? Where? Why? How? Who He?!

Skip the Story and Cut to the Chase!

Printer-Friendly Text-Only Version of this Page

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of the

[Frank Kelly Freas]

FRANK KELLY FREAS is the Fantasy and Science Fiction worlds' most beloved and acclaimed artist - and one who truly makes all of his real-life subjects look their best. He's painted beautiful portraits of the original Star Trek cast; created hundreds of classic covers for Analog, Astounding, and Mad Magazine (while painting over 500 saints' portraits for the Franciscans); and painted the album cover of Queen's first 2,000,000-seller, News of the World. An 11-time Hugo Award Winner (...always wondered what he did with all those little cars), Kelly designed the Skylab 1 astronauts' crew patch and his NASA space paintings now grace the Smithsonian Museum in Washington D.C.

In early 1984, Kelly Freas was commissioned by my production company to paint a theatrical poster for The Wizard of Speed and Time movie. He took several Polaroids of me, preparing for a full-face portrait. I was actually reluctant...this painting was not my idea, and the feature film was already enough to brand me an egomaniac, let alone having my mug overwhelming its one-sheet. So I drew a sketch from the beginning of the new Wizard Run, and suggested that we use the entire wizard character, flying through new realities, taking energy from his own world and giving "magic" to the poster's viewer.

[Jittlov the Actor] [Jittlov's sketch] [Wizard dust-run]

In other words...minimize me, concentrate on our production's fantasy elements. Kelly's known for his sexy girls, and I'd really love to have our leading lady, Paige Moore (also Miss Virginia 1980!), featured on the largest planet. And could he possibly add a few whimsical subliminals, similar to the 1000-plus pictures and messages hidden throughout the movie's special effects? I gave him more sketches from my unmade Speed movie, and three pages of ideas.

Instead of reeling from this excited filmmaker's requests, Kelly listened to me - and then really got into the creative spirit of our feature film. He not only created a sensational, one-of-a-kind *WOW* movie poster, but added mysterious layers of subconscious imagery throughout his artwork!

[Kelly Freas Wizard Poster]
Click for Big Pic

of the

(Psst... You can refer to the Big Pic, or try the easy Chart with Arrows & Stuff)

[Wizard Poster Lettering]

The poster's upper region was far too active (and probably filled with more electrifying subliminals) for our long title, so I put that at the bottom - designing an original Jittlovian font, then Xacto-cutting its letters from Pantone paper, sticking it all onto card stock, and hand-ruling lines to lower their intensity. No computer, no Photoshop, yet it looked clean and professional. Kelly was actually delighted, and said that the original painting was mine to keep, as his gift.

A few months later, the posters premiered with the Wizard Run at the legendary WorldCon of 1984. When our 4-minute preview of the movie triggered an explosion of 1600 cheers from the jam-packed Anaheim Convention Center ballroom, we knew that we had a winner. We also had a line for Wizard Posters that stretched around three walls of the huge dealer's room, and I was signing autographs until 3am.

I plowed back into megaworkaholic post-production and editing, until my esteamed business partner (who also played the evil, slimy, embezzling, sociopathic producer in our Wizard of Speed and Time film) suddenly locked me out of our office (I was only the corporation President). I gained two days of access and managed to secure all critical film elements - but discovered that Kelly's original oil painting and its four-color printing separations had completely disappeared.

Before you could say "Restraining Order", my e.b.p. also vanished - along with all of our office records, equipment, VCR's, and supplies - and without a forwarding address. The only thing left behind was a small, unwieldy pile of Wizard Posters, the last of a modest 4,000-print run. Many of these survivors were bent, torn, scored or otherwise damaged. But not all of them...

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Shameless Sales Pitch

[Wizard of Hollywood]

Oh Frabjus Day - YES!! Despite all odds and intrigues, emergency moves in rainstorms, tornados, termites, city-wide riots, earthquakes, Y2K and 16 years of fighting World War III with Murphy's Law, a limited number of the Kelly Freas Wizard of Speed and Time movie posters still exist!!

I have saved the perfect ones, and also culled out any printing errors. They are not reprints or reissues! These are the same Wizard Posters which once sold at WorldCon'84 - and they are still in brilliant, unfolded, mint condition! If you were too young, too late, or too far away to get a Kelly Freas Wizard Poster then, here's your second last chance!

They are FAR from your dime-a-dozen, thin-as-tissue, theatrical one-sheets (which crazed collectors nevertheless pay $$,$$$ for)! THESE Posters are all lithograph-printed on heavy-duty 80-pound Nova-coat gloss cover-stock! And they will endure.

They are RARE. They are the ORIGINAL. They are the LAST OF THEIR KIND. (Jeeze - can I ever identify with that..) Suitable for majestic framing in your media museum, living room wall, or above your bed. It's a trophy that will never tarnish! A physical real-world souvenir of your WWWeb-surfing! Visitors will think you've actually been somewhere!!

And get this - these gorgeous limited-original-printing Posters are just a paltry THIRTY U.S. DOLLARS!! Yes!! You read that right!!!

[ani-gif sparkler]$30.00!!!![ani-gif sparkler]

Just thirty, thin, ordinary, everyday, common, little greenbacked portraits of American politicians! Good Golly - MILLIONS of people have 30 dollars!! But in all the Universe, only a FEW hundred Chosen Ones on Planet Earth can possess an actual Kelly Freas Wizard of Speed and Time Poster!

No batteries to buy! No upgrades to download! Will never erase, go blank, or refuse to reboot! Won't lose half its value every month. No brokerage payments! No maintenance fees. No polishing, no pruning, no trimming, no watering, no walking, no feeding, no vet bills, no medical insurance! Doesn't bark or bite, stays right where you put it! A Wizard Poster is the perfect pet! It will just get MORE valuable, all by itself!!

They're NOT available in stores! They're NOT sold in specialty shops! They're not in Hammacher Schlemmer catalogs or on any TV infomercials! There aren't enough posters to make that even possible! They are only available right HERE, via this humble webpage on YOUR COMPUTER SCREEN! Reach out! Feel that Energy!! People have resold these posters for $100! A Canadian fan once bought two, then sold the second one for $200! To a UseNetter! That's insane!! Buy them from the Source, and SAVE!!

Vincent Van Gogh's "Irises" - $53,900,000
Picasso's "Acrobat and Young Harlequin" - $38,460,000
Microsoft's Windows 2000 Source Code - $25,270,000
Universal's "The Mummy" (1932) Poster - $453,500
Frank Kelly Freas "Wizard" Poster - $30

WHAT a DEAL!!! What a sensational ground-floor investment opportunity in a rare cult-classic poster from "The most 'Hollywood movie' ever made"!! It's bigger than the Mona Lisa, yet you can put it on public display without hiring armed guards!

Act now (like, while I'm still here and ALIVE), and you can also get my legendary 20-minute personalized autograph for FREE! But without having to wait in a sci-fi and fantasy convention's 5-hour-long celebrity line, hoping-to-ghod there's still a Poster left when you finally get to the Wiz-Meister.

Think about it! How often can you get ANY feature film poster autographed by its starring Actor and its Writer and its Director and its Editor and its Special Effects Creator and 125 more of its crew members - and get all those signatures without covering up every inch of the poster?!? It's 130 autographs in ONE!! An entire Megalo-Ego-Trip on 80# stock!!

PLEASE NOTE: Unlike this webpage, I'm not here 24 hours a day. Once-in-a-lifetime offers don't last forever. The Wizard may have finally found his Dream Girl and moved to a heavenly isle in Norway, and/or the posters may all be sold. Before you send anything, spend a dime and call me first (evenings to midnight are best, Pacific Time).

[Jittlov backpacks]
Where one wizard wants to live...

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Q: Mr Jittlov, when will your autograph be worth lots of money? A: Autographs of celebrities traditionally skyrocket in value when the celebrity dies. Hence, when I go to that great Norway in the Sky, your copy of my signature could be worth up to $20. Please hold your breath. Q: Why can't I just send my credit card number to your PayPal Account? A: Because I don't have PayPal account, or any way of handling credit card data. This is less than a hobby. Work with me. Return to the bygone yesteryears of simple old-fashioned cash.


QUESTION: Gosh, Mr. Jittlov! Why should I buy a Wizard Poster, when I can just print out the JPEG on this webpage?

ANSWER: Gentle Downloader, what you gleefully perceive on your Trinitron is but a pale whisper of the True Kelly Freas Wizard Poster. That 131K JPEG file cannot begin to compare with the original 450MB TIF, which was itself a copy made from scanning in sections of the 36"x24" poster, reassembling and color-adjusting everything on my AlphaScan monitor with its blue gun occasionally flickering out. Due to the incredible variances between everybody's computer screens, the JPEG's colors may not look exactly like the poster. Matter of fact, the poster should look *MUCH BETTER*! Plus you'll also get: A) my sacred signature; B) my Wizardly fingerprints; C) the invisible magical aura of WizWorld itself; and D) 16 years of Hollywood History embedded in the poster's 30 quadrillion atoms. In comparison, that little JPEG is only 977 lines of computer type characters. A mere simulacrum. You should throw it away. Go for the Gold. Nothing satisfies like the Real Thing.

[Jittlov, or Jpeg?]
The choice is Yours! ..Jittlov...or Jpeg?

QUESTION: Do I really have to send you $30? I'm just a poor student with a dual-2.5GB G5 and T3 connection in my private dorm room at Princeton. Won't you give me an internet discount?

ANSWER: Yes! It's already included! The Kelly Freas Wizard Poster is actually list-priced at $3,000,000.00! Normally, it can only be bought by Bill Gates, Donald Trump and certain Disney executives! But just before you opened this page, I sensed your presence and frugal desperation, and *telemagically* reduced the price down to a rock-bottom level where YOU can afford to have a Wizard Poster in your very own workspace! That's right! By buying an authentic Wizard Poster, YOU JUST SAVED yourself $29,999,970.00!!! That's worth a celebration all by itself!!! The MORE you BUY, the MORE you SAVE!!!!

QUESTION: But everybody always gives me more. What more will you give ME?

ANSWER: If you enclose a legible return address, proper postage, a USPO Money Order and a nice note for my archives - then I will also include exclusive Wiz-related xeroxibilia, rave reviews from the media, and my hilarious get-a-clue Resume! And possibly pad it with crumpled pages of the latest L.A. Weekly Personals ads. All touched by my wizardly fingers. Inspire me! The more you give, the more you get! (But don't send food!!!)

QUESTION: I'm a Century City attorney and just reading to here has cost $60 of my valuable time. I'm sending a bill and expect two posters FedEx'd by tomorrow.

ANSWER: BZZZT! I'm sorry, that wasn't said in the form of a question. But if your bill is amusing enough, it may wind up on this webpage as a GIF.

QUESTION: Is there anything else special about these Wizard Posters?

ANSWER: Yes! They're *MAGIC*! The very fact that they've survived all these years in Los Angeles, plus the U.S. Postal System, just to be brought into your exceptional presence, is evidence enough that they're being watched over by Divine Providence! The Best of the Blessed! A giant Lucky Talisman! Don't miss out! Only a few hundred LUCKY ILLUMINATI can have one of these gorgeous beauties hanging around your homes or cubicles, caressing you with their immortal vitality! (Whoa..I think I just figured out why I'm still single..)

[Who's the Blonde?]

QUESTION: What exactly is this Wizard of Speed & Time movie?

QUESTION: How come it gets a much higher rating in the Internet Movie Database than professional, mega-star, multi-million-dollar, big studio films like Batman & Robin and The Flintstones?

QUESTION: Why can't I find it at Blockbuster anymore?

QUESTION: Where can I get a video to keep my kids mesmerized when I'm away?

QUESTION: How can I get you to show up at our science-fiction and fantasy convention or garage sale?

QUESTION: How can I connect you with my best friend - a tall, slender, blue-eyed, never-married nordic blonde - who's looking for a tall, slim, blue-eyed, blond, hyper-creative viking-wizard husband?

ANSWER: All of these questions will be covered in my future WizWorld webpages! Especially that last one!

Meanwhile, check out Warrior Princess of the Internet Corgi's incredible Wizdex for lots more Wizardly Info and Jittloviana!

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[Actual Jittlovian Autograph]


Unlike the hasty scrawlings of most other moviestar director screenwriter producer editor animator special-effector megahyphenate inflated-ego types, MY signature is actually *LEGIBLE*. Unlike those of most Hollywood celebrities and show-biz luminaries (Walt Disney), my signature is actually *REAL*! Furthermore, it can be ornately calligraphied in simulated gold ink, and personally dedicated to *YOU*!

Just TRY getting any movie poster legibly autographed to You by George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, or Irwin Allen! Alright, maybe you can if you're Kibo. But try getting one signed by George Melies, Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Leonardo Da Vinci or anyone else that I channel! You CAN'T! Not legally. Only MY signature is STILL AVAILABLE!!

But I have changed the RULES. (Though not by much, so do not flame me.) You no longer HAVE to have the Poster personally dedicated. I've caved in to fervent demand, and now offer a complicated plethora of Collector's Choices:


That's right! A Kelly Freas Wizard Poster can be further *transformed* into a One-Of-A-Kind Conversation Piece, when you have it dedicated To You, To Yours, To One You Desire, To Theirs, To Whomever, Whatever (G-rated, please) - and with a short object of the preposition. Examples: "May All Your Good Dreams and Fine Wishes Come True!" (from the Wizard's Birthday Song, and my oft-warlorded internet sig), or "Nothing Stops the Creative Spirit!" (the subliminal seen on a single frame in the Wizard Run where the Russian Wall comes down). PLEASE TELL ME WHAT TO WRITE HERE! And remember: Less is More. (Unlike these webpages.)


I have received numerous requests for Posters with JUST my signed name, and no dedication. (Gosh, Mr. Dealer, are YOU the one reselling them for $180?) This IS of course a supremely valuable and singularly unique scriptorial manifestation of an artfully stylized signature that cannot be forged by man or machine. (And if you believe that, I have this Bible autographed by the Holy Spirit, in glow-in-the-dark ink, with the original shrink-wrap!) Anyway, I am limiting orders to one "Signature Only" Poster per tube; any such extras ordered will be mailed out unsigned and pristine.


Contrary to the laws of nature, Virgins are EASY! I don't have to do a thing - no signing, no thinking - just lay 'em, roll 'em and send 'em! (...Let me rephrase that... nahhh.) And yet they still cost the same as non-Virgins - $30 each! (There could be a lesson here.) It's pure Freasian Art, and there's no limit on your order (within reason, and so long as mailing tube, postage, checks and supplies are sufficient).


This scam applies to any and all of the above. Since signed and numbered editions of American Movie Poster Art are in such Hot Demand, and since You asked, then *YES* - I will personally place a NUMBER of your choice in the corner of your choosing! Fat Lot of Good it will do, but anything to keep some people rich and happy. (If you already have a Poster, and are in despair that it is not a Numbered Edition, simply get a Pilot Gold Marker and carefully scribe thereon whatever number you want! It's our secret! Amaze your friends, confuse your foes!)

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CRaZy WiZaRd GoEz WiLd!!!

We're clearin'em out to the bare walls!!!

"Cease the web-pitch!
Stop the madness!!
We don't want no
wacky fontcolors!
We want posters!!
No more verbiage!
Not more lineage!!
We made it all the
way down to here
and all we want to
know is just HOW,
but not WHY, Bcuz
you will start your
spiel all over again!
Just tell us how to
Give us the FAQs!
What to do! What to
  [Jittlov really rode this!]

Friends, I hear you. I would not be the sterling pillar of perception and sanity that I am today, if I did not heed the little voices screaming through the music of my modem and [STOP IT! Just TELL US!!] Alright - just the facts (but it was becoming a really fun harangue):

If you send a letter or anything that you want responded to or returned (no scripts please, I have lots of my own), then kindly enclose a self-addressed, stamped envelope/mailer, and your patience (because it's just me, here - no secretary, staff, or funding). [Start: MIDI violin solo]

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[SGE poster]

I am not selling any of my Shapiro Glickenhaus Entertainment posters. ...Not yet. True, these were painted by gifted Santa Monica art professor Gary Meyer for SGE's theatrical and video release, and SGE has thankfully gone out of business (possibly due to the vengeful actions of its own ex-employees). But one principal SGEvil still remains in operation - while the Wizard of Speed and Time feature film remains in limbo and seems invisible to ethical distributors.

(By the way, I don't get any earnings from Reel.Com or Amazon.Com, who are actually selling cheap, remaindered, SGE/sub-Starmaker copies of Wizard's unfinished workprint, with temporary music, special effects and editing! Surprisingly, I am not bitter, because working in Hollywood has taught me to always have a sunny, open-minded respect toward the bottom-dealing misbegotten leeches who control most of the entertainment industry. But I digress.)

When the Creative Balance has been restored - i.e., when I have made my Director's Cut of Wizard of Speed and Time, removed its guardian subliminals, and this goldmine has appeared on North American free TV with all due profit solidly in the hands of its true creators - then shall the SGE posters be made available. And much, much MORE!!

COMING: the world's foremost one-stop shopping source for all things related to The Wizard of Speed and Time movie - WoSaT videos, WoSaT DVDs, John Massari's Wizard Music CDs, WoSaT pictures, WoSaT props, WoSaT T-shirts, WoSaT shoes, WoSaT shoelaces, pieces of the WoSaT Robe, WoSaT buttons, WoSaT stickers, WoSaT scripts, WoSaT storyboards, copyright docs, contracts and collector's items galore! Tell your friends! Especially if they're network television programming executives! Somebody's going to win historical and industrial glory for Wizard's national premiere! Could it be...YOU?

[Jittlov's Wizardobilia!]


Ooo! Ooo! ONE MORE QUESTION: Y@h W1Z-D00d! I'm too busy downloading sharewarez, and rilly dont have time to go outside in the light to shop and buy a poster toob. So can I just send you $2 to get one for me, plus get some postage stamps with a MovieStar, plus write me a really kewl label, and also autograff that? Thanx in advance.

ANSWER: ...Oh...shucky...darns. {MumbleGrumbleSnarlClenchSnortHarumph}

Please understand, that I am using up my remaining script-writing and creative synapses on this. That EACH Poster sale ultimately costs me over two hours: reading the message - then replying - then reading and re-replying and asking if you TRULY want me to write THAT below your name - poster preparing - poster signing - poster re-signing (if my special pen drops a golden glop over a lengthy dedication) - personal handling and packaging - then bicycling to the bank - standing in line - cashing the check - bicycling from the bank to the post office - standing in another line - hoping they haven't raised the postal rates again - hoping-to-ghod my bike's tires haven't been slashed while I was waiting - and getting back home before the evening gunfire begins.

This really is not what I want to do with my remaining lifetime. I should be making movies or videos. Making a tangible income. Getting the heck out of this city, moving to Norway to find my future Wife and a productive life and a few more hopeless daydreams. So get these remarkable Posters while you still can, and help me to help you.

For non-USA Wizard Poster orders from Down Under, Up Above, and Over There... I understand the hardship, and will buy the mailing materials for you. But full payment in American dollars must be sent to cover the following items: Wizard Poster ($30 each), strong plastic tube ($10) [wrong - UPDATE!], and postage (currently $4.07 to Canada, $5.20 to Mexico and Central America; $6.75 to South America; $9.60 to Europe, Scandinavia, Russia; $11.68 to Africa, Asia, India, and the Middle East; or $12.85 to Australia, Oceana, Japan, and the Pacific Rim) [all wrong - UPDATE!] . Alpha Centaurians, yer outta luck. Check this page for updates, but this pricing babel will probably stay the same until mid-2000. Or until I get down to the last few incredibly rare and precious posters, at which point they may only be available at a Sotheby's Auction. Get'em whilst ye can.

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UPDATE this. Kelly joined Heinlein, Asimov, and the rest of his star brethren on January 2, 2004. 8-(


It's still possible to have your masterpiece signed by the Master himself! Frank Kelly Freas also has a limited number of Wizard Posters, which he will autograph and sell for $50 each [wrong - UPDATE!]! Another sensational bargain! This is getting complicated! Look - buy one from Kelly, you can then send it to me, and I'll add my name on it (but only my name, which does make it more auctionable), for FREE!! (Just include adequate return postage and a legible return address!) Contact:

The Kelly Freas Gallery Homepage

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In case You only read this:

Send US$30 (preferably in U.S. Postal Money Orders) -=- In a sturdy mailing tube (at least 2' long and 2.5" in diameter) -=- With enough United States stamps (or enough US$) to pay postage of $3.20 [wrong - UPDATE!] within the U.S.; $4.07 [wrong - UPDATE!] to Canada; $5.20 [wrong - UPDATE!] to Mexico and Central America; $6.75 [wrong - UPDATE!] to South America; $9.60 [wrong - UPDATE!] to Europe, Scandinavia, Russia; $11.68 [wrong - UPDATE!] to Asia, India, Africa, and the Middle East; or $12.85 [wrong - UPDATE!] to Japan, Australia, Oceana, and the Pacific Rim -=- Plus a legible return-addressed label -=- And a legible note politely describing what personalized message you might like on the poster -=- To the address below...

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The fabulous Kelly Freas Wizard of Speed and Time Posters are obtainable from:

Church of the Creative Spirit
902 North Maltman Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90026-2714
Phone: (323) 665-2669 (evenings)

[Wizard and Crystal]

"May All Your Good Dreams and Fine Wishes Come True!"

Webpage ©2001 by Mike Jittlov, All Rights Reserved. Everywhere. So there.
Created on a Mac using just the free version of BBEdit Lite 4.1 (...Not bad, eh?)

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Frank Kelly Freas Website

Corgi's Website

Kibo's Website

Beldar Conehead's Website

John Hudgens' Wizsite

Falken's Wizsite

Bob Doyle's Desktop Video Group

I want to read all of this again

Take me back to the main page

Eternal Special *Thanks* to: Bob Doyle and Holly Doyle for giving me this wonderful Apple computer, its software, and hope for the future; James "Kibo" Parry for his terrific tutorials and generous help; Ken "Beldar" Coar and Lynnell "Angel" Koehler for starting up this wizard's website; Dave "Auk" Chamberlain for securing the wizard's website; MV Communications for hosting WizWorld; Lisa "Corgi" Winters for keeping the memory alive; Doug Crepeau, for bringing Kelly Freas to our movie, and helping rescue the posters afterwards; Derek "SkyBuilder" Doyle for discovering me on the Net, and Rob Doyle, David Yost, Meriday Beth Komor, Derek Woolverton, the Mystery Person (you know who you are); and Mom, without whom I'd be long gone.

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"Give the best in all you do - It really does come back to you"

until I webberize a real one
which would probably say 42
people have peeked in here.